May I Have A Wurd Please

A long time ago, I realized that to strive to be the best, to pursue perfection, was nothing but folly. It's impossible to be perfect. There will always be someone smarter, thinner, prettier, richer, funnier- well, wait a minute. I draw the line at funnier. I think the greatest compliment someone can ever give you is that you made them laugh. I really came to realize how important laughter is for one very particular reason. I was on the way home from my husband's memorial service.

So I've been married a couple of times, had some relationships along the way, always with some degree of happiness and heartbreak. But I have to say, the only relationship I've ever had without hiccups has been my relationship with God.

Two times this past week someone has told me that I made them smile. That's a wonderful thing to hear about yourself. It's a lot of pressure though too. Until I remind myself that I'm not doing anything but being me. No pressure.

My grandfather came to the United States from Naples Italy to join his father who had come here years before. He was a simple hard-working man who loved his family and he loved his roses. My grandfather was a barber for 50+ years. He owned two pieces of property on the same lot in Lockport, New York. The front home in which he lived had a storefront in which he operated his barbershop. His name was Leo and of course his business was Leo's Barbershop.

Wouldn't it be something else if people came with instruction manuals? If I came with one, it would probably say something like this. Grab this woman firmly by the shoulders, hold tightly, shake vigorously, and ask repeatedly, what the hell is wrong with you? 😆 I can be a difficult person; this I know to be a fact. I have had many people tell me that over the years. My husband used to call me the Lone Ranger because I had a hard time relying on anyone to do anything for me. In the past, I've been stubborn and held on to grudges like they had handles. I've cut off my nose to spite my face more times than I care to think about. I became the living, breathing example of I can forgive, but I'll never forget. Not a good way to be.

My famous Banana Surprise Muffins with Buttermilk Syrup

The old saying that a negative attitude will never give you a positive life is 100% correct. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it's that no matter what, you have to look for the positive in any situation. I believe that words have power. Believing that things will be a certain way gives that situation power. I have several positive affirmations that I say out loud to myself every day. Even Snoop Dog knows the power of Affirmations. Have you ever listened to the song he wrote for his Grandkids? It's called Affirmations, and I was never a musical Snoop fan, but the guy has a good heart, and he's on to something with that song, and that's something I can get behind. One positive thought or word to someone can change the trajectory of the day.

Growing up, I was EXTREMELY shy. When I say 'shy,' I mean couldn't even make eye contact with someone. My brother and I were the exact definition of children being seen but never heard. We would go out with my mother or my grandparents, and people would ask, "What do you do to your kids to make them so quiet?" Truthfully, they didn't do anything to us. I never remember being spanked or scolded. We were just quiet and respectful kids.

I have always felt that it's not the big grand gestures in life that matter. Not at all. It's the little things that bring a smile to someone's face simply because they know you were thinking of them, and that means everything. I think, after these last few years, I really have come to realize that one of the things I have missed the most from being married is having someone who was proud of me. Proud of my spunk, my humor, my determination, and my love. I've been proud of myself for sure, but it's just different when someone you care about appreciates all that you are and everything you do. It should be easy to find, but you would be surprised.

Chuck Norris passed away this week, and I saw a video he posted on March 10th. In the video, he said, "I don't get older. I level up." If he wasn't already an icon before that statement, he sure as hell is after it.  In our lives, we should not worry so much about striving for perfection. I've said it before, and I mean it. Perfection is unattainable. Look at the number of people who turn to plastic surgery rather than focusing on just being the best version of ourselves possible. I have nothing against plastic surgery, but most people get started and then don't stop with it. I can help you save a few dollars. Learn to embrace every imperfection you have because that is truly what makes you uniquely you. Easier said than done, right? YUP!

I have never been a huge TV watcher, but my husband certainly was. We usually didn't align on channel selection. The only time we made an exception was for anything music-related. It could be a concert, music documentary, or interview. With those, we could always find some common ground. We used to love to watch AXIS TV. We could always find something interesting to watch on there. That station is where I was first introduced to "Live from Daryl's House."

If I ever took a deep dive into my heritage, I'm sure it would turn out that I was a mixed bag of a lot of different nationalities. I've always known that I was Italian on my mother's side and Irish on my dad's. Growing up, I never had any interaction with my father or his family. My mom and dad were divorced while she was pregnant with me. I have one biological brother from their union, and we are 11 months apart. This phenomenon is affectionately referred to as being "Irish Twins." Growing up, the dynamic of discussing my father was so surreal. We NEVER talked about him. He was like this mythical figure. The implication was almost one of fear, as if he were this big bad wolf threatening to huff and puff and blow our world apart at any given moment.  We had NO pictures of him. That is, until I found a photo from their wedding day. My parents had a really fancy wedding, too. It was a rainbow wedding, where all the bridesmaids wore different-colored gowns.  In the picture below, you can see my parents in the upper-right corner. That was the extent of my knowledge about my father.